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All kinds of pop tarts7/25/2023 It’s tender and mild just like the infant Christ. It’s like a hot bowl of canned soup or a meal from a cheap breakfast place. True Neutral: Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamonīehold: the world’s okay-ist Pop-Tart. It’s standard, it follows the rules of making something sort of look and taste like it’s “Cookies and Cream”. It’s not Chocolate Chip Cookie-Dough, but it’s a nice attempt at making a toaster pastry taste like an Oreo. Lawful Neutral: Cookies & CreamĪnother example of a decent dessert-inspired Pop-Tart. We don’t exactly know what it is, but we love the mystery of Wild! Berry. The Panic! At the Disco of the mediocre American pastry world, the Wild! Berry Pop-Tart takes the toaster strudel for being solid chaotic good. What flavor is this? What does wild berry even mean? And it’s not just wild berry. I like to think that the guy who designed that one pattern on bowling ally consessions stand cups was also asked to design the carpet in charter busses and then finally asked to decorate the Wild! Berry Pop-Tart. It is the junior prom, the 21st birthday, the good Spotify playlist of dessert-flavored Poptarts. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is the exception to this. The hype is all there but once it actually happens you’re still kind of left wondering if you missed something. It’s kind of like senior prom or your 18th birthday. I believe that 99% of the time when Kellogg’s tries to release a new dessert-flavored Pop-Tart we end up with another 200 calorie disappointment that just looked really good on the box. Neutral Good: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Is there really any Pop-Tart more standard and delicious than Frosted Cherry? Cherry is such a tame, universally well-liked flavor you just have to love it. While this list is non-exhaustive, here is my ranking of different Pop-Tarts using the D&D Moral Alignment Scale. In fact I like most Pop-Tarts, but just like everything else in life there are some that are better than others in both flavor and morality.
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